We have a tendency to lay blame for our less then ideal state of affairs on external factors. There was an expression I heard often when I was growing up ' Apney gareiban mein jhanko', (before pointing fingers one should look at ones self) or the very famous, 'pehley tolo phir bolo' (measure your words before you speak), these have slowly disappeared from peoples consciousness-everyone is in a rat race. I say this because I remember some incidents, two in particular that caught my attention when I was in Pakistan last summer. Which is a commentry on our social behaviour.
One happened in Hyderabad, I had gone with a group of people to eat out. There were a couple of restaurants in a line and each one had some waiters or 'attractors' who try to grab customers attention as they step out of their cars. So you hear a lot of shouting and different gimmicks for grabbing your attention. Usually they read out the menu real fast or tell you about the facilities in their restaurant. One such guy saw us going in one direction following a waiter when he yelled that the restaurant we had chosen had broken windows. We stopped in our tracks and looked up and saw that the whole of upstairs floor had huge windows but had no glass. The guy who was leading us suddenly felt at a loss for words and looked embarrassed. Both of them looked to belong to the same economic background. They probably spent their whole evenings together grabbing their customers and I could not understand how one could snatch a little tidbit from another, in a similar situation, like this? They were not the owners and most they would have earned would have been 2-5% of the total bill as tip. What happened to work ethics? I stopped and protested and asked how he could do that without feeling any remorse. Of course he quickly apologized, after all the first rule he learns is 'customer is always right' and not 'I might have done something wrong'.
Second incident happened in Karachi. We had gone to Park Towers which is a very hip and happening place in Karachi. As I roamed around marveling at the quality and of course the price tags, I noticed that there was only a particular kind of 'gentry'. People that you would normally see in the streets, the not so fortunate ones or the not so well attired ones were missing conspicuously from the scene. When I became conscious of this I started to look for exceptions but I couldn't find any. Added to this was the fact that it was a warm summer evening, with the temperatures soaring and load shedding in full swing, I could not imagine why the poor would not head to these kind of air conditioned buildings. Shamefully, I got distracted and continued my browsing. When we had finished our tour and were waiting in the porch for our coach to pick us up, I heard an authoritative voice behind me asking curtly, 'Tumharey pass Park Towers ka Card hai' (Do you have Park Towers card?)? and a meek voice answering in a faltering tone 'Nahi sir' (No sir). It caught my attention because I realized i didn't have any card either and no one had stopped us. So i turned around and saw a guy who was clean shaved, tall, fair, decently attired in pale coloured shilwar qameez which looked as if it had seen many washings, wearing off-white plastic chappal, the kind that, I guess, cost less then a hundred rupees. He was standing obediently in front of a guard who was at least a foot shorter with a young boy of 7-8. Blood drained from my face and then rushed again when I realized what was happening and especially after i heard the guards next words, 'Jin kei pass card nahi, woh pichley darwazey sei ander jaatey hain'(those who don't have cards enter form the back door). I was the only one in my group who was following this conversation behind us, so they were taken aback when they saw me marching purposefully in the middle of whatever conversations that was going on in our group (I had lost track a while ago). Without uttering a single word to the guard, I asked the guy to follow me. I escorted him and the little boy inside and then asked if he had any other people travelling with him. He told me that his wife and father were also with him, so i turned and went searching for his companions. I was shocked to see that his wife was in advanced stages of pregnancy. As the family was reunited, the guy and his father started thanking me profusely and I was choked up with emotions. They were thanking me for something which was their right! I stayed for a while and followed him from a safe distance to see that this innocent group wasn't pushed from the back door and then left. Like the waiters it was useless to reprimand the guard, he was after all following orders so that he could keep his job. But why have we stopped looking and observing and asking questions? I felt and feel that this separation of rich and poor, fortunate and unfortunate has happened because we want it to happen. It is not difficult to notice their absence but we don't ask because we don't want to mix with those who don't talk, look and dress like us! We don't want the 'uncool' crowd to encroach upon 'our' exclusive space!
One happened in Hyderabad, I had gone with a group of people to eat out. There were a couple of restaurants in a line and each one had some waiters or 'attractors' who try to grab customers attention as they step out of their cars. So you hear a lot of shouting and different gimmicks for grabbing your attention. Usually they read out the menu real fast or tell you about the facilities in their restaurant. One such guy saw us going in one direction following a waiter when he yelled that the restaurant we had chosen had broken windows. We stopped in our tracks and looked up and saw that the whole of upstairs floor had huge windows but had no glass. The guy who was leading us suddenly felt at a loss for words and looked embarrassed. Both of them looked to belong to the same economic background. They probably spent their whole evenings together grabbing their customers and I could not understand how one could snatch a little tidbit from another, in a similar situation, like this? They were not the owners and most they would have earned would have been 2-5% of the total bill as tip. What happened to work ethics? I stopped and protested and asked how he could do that without feeling any remorse. Of course he quickly apologized, after all the first rule he learns is 'customer is always right' and not 'I might have done something wrong'.
Second incident happened in Karachi. We had gone to Park Towers which is a very hip and happening place in Karachi. As I roamed around marveling at the quality and of course the price tags, I noticed that there was only a particular kind of 'gentry'. People that you would normally see in the streets, the not so fortunate ones or the not so well attired ones were missing conspicuously from the scene. When I became conscious of this I started to look for exceptions but I couldn't find any. Added to this was the fact that it was a warm summer evening, with the temperatures soaring and load shedding in full swing, I could not imagine why the poor would not head to these kind of air conditioned buildings. Shamefully, I got distracted and continued my browsing. When we had finished our tour and were waiting in the porch for our coach to pick us up, I heard an authoritative voice behind me asking curtly, 'Tumharey pass Park Towers ka Card hai' (Do you have Park Towers card?)? and a meek voice answering in a faltering tone 'Nahi sir' (No sir). It caught my attention because I realized i didn't have any card either and no one had stopped us. So i turned around and saw a guy who was clean shaved, tall, fair, decently attired in pale coloured shilwar qameez which looked as if it had seen many washings, wearing off-white plastic chappal, the kind that, I guess, cost less then a hundred rupees. He was standing obediently in front of a guard who was at least a foot shorter with a young boy of 7-8. Blood drained from my face and then rushed again when I realized what was happening and especially after i heard the guards next words, 'Jin kei pass card nahi, woh pichley darwazey sei ander jaatey hain'(those who don't have cards enter form the back door). I was the only one in my group who was following this conversation behind us, so they were taken aback when they saw me marching purposefully in the middle of whatever conversations that was going on in our group (I had lost track a while ago). Without uttering a single word to the guard, I asked the guy to follow me. I escorted him and the little boy inside and then asked if he had any other people travelling with him. He told me that his wife and father were also with him, so i turned and went searching for his companions. I was shocked to see that his wife was in advanced stages of pregnancy. As the family was reunited, the guy and his father started thanking me profusely and I was choked up with emotions. They were thanking me for something which was their right! I stayed for a while and followed him from a safe distance to see that this innocent group wasn't pushed from the back door and then left. Like the waiters it was useless to reprimand the guard, he was after all following orders so that he could keep his job. But why have we stopped looking and observing and asking questions? I felt and feel that this separation of rich and poor, fortunate and unfortunate has happened because we want it to happen. It is not difficult to notice their absence but we don't ask because we don't want to mix with those who don't talk, look and dress like us! We don't want the 'uncool' crowd to encroach upon 'our' exclusive space!
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