View from my window

An eagle is told that it once lived in huge nests on high mountains and tall trees at high altitudes and the big bird scoffs at such a preposterous idea. How can such a big bird living in caves and hunting on rodents soar in the skies over mountain tops and oceans. Not a bad idea but quite unlikely. Seems like these humans are crazy and think of anything about other animals to hide their own embarrassment over their monkey ancestry. Pick up any great novel, Hundred Years of Solitude, Blindness, Beloved, Alchemist or any others that you have read where imagination is stretched but you flow with the narrative. You easily believe what the writer is asking of you. It seems plausible and hence possible and you like a bird open your wings and fly where the winds of possibilities take you. Marquez creates a parallel world of freedom and we camp in this world with him; Morrison brings a spirit from the dead and we unblinkingly accept her character; Saramago presents a sightless world to us ...

 When history is written, 2022 will be seen as a watershed year when all predictions by climate scientists will be seen to have come true and in public eye!   The year began with a scorching heatwave in March across India, Pakistan with temperatures crossing well over 40C. Temperature of 49.7C was recorded in Nawabshah in Pakistan. These temperatures were the highest ever recorded in March in this region since records began in 1901.   In Bangladesh, from April to July, the country was hit by the worst floods in its history, killing more than a 100 people and displacing millions. According to news reports, most people died from drowning, snake bites and lightening. When the floods hit in April the rice crop was standing in the fields and only half ripe. For a country of 160 million that relies on rice to feed its people further disaster awaits in the guise of crop failure and famine.   https://www.independent.co.uk/asia/south-asia/flood-in-bangladesh-death-toll-...

As elections approach in Pakistan, well at least talk of elections becasue in Pakistan, elections are an elusive phenomenon, I thought of posting something I wrote in 2019 but never got around to posting it. It is however, as relevant today as it was then and will be relevant for a long time to come as I dont see anything changing in Pakistan:  As I read different views of people, on various talk shows, in newspaper articles, social media, trying to pin down, some in good faith, where the problem lies with our society, the diagnosis I have picked up is religious intolerance, government apathy, rise of religious fundamentalism, some have even talked about illiteracy. That pretty much covers the spectrum of the debates in the wake of Mishal Khan or any incident since or before it. Any one of this diagnosis can be fixed in short term through force or radical change. It is something which can be covered marvelously by 24 hours news channels and we can have a fantastic coverage of ...

Since I got pregnant with my son, I have not watched a movie in a cinema theater. During pregnancy I did not want to expose the fetus to loud sound and after he was born there is not enough time, given how limited leisure time one gets with baby, home and work. Plus one of us has to babysit and watching a movie alone in a theater is really not too much fun.   This, however, does not mean that I do not watch movies. I watch an occasional Hollywood or Bollywood movie on Netflix or Amazon Prime Video. In recent months, finding a Bollywood movie on these platforms has been a little difficult. On 10 th January 2019, ‘young Bollywood actors,’ (as conscientious-less media declared, although I have more appropriate labels for them, and what qualifies as ‘young’?), met Prime Minister elect, Narender Modi in Delhi. The selfie that did the rounds afterwards was a fantastic record of who all was at that meeting. I am grateful to worldwide web that in seconds it reached far and wide and s...

I have often heard from non-Pakistanis about what Pakistanis are like, ‘You know, you are not like that and I have seen that Pakistanis, individually, are very nice people, some of my very good friends are Pakistanis but collectively they are/have...’ And then they proceed to tell me what ‘these Pakistanis’ are like and these vary of course, depending on the nature of their encounter but invariably a distinction is made between Pakistanis ‘individually’ and ‘collectively’. And, yes, this description is quite insulting and presents a stereotypical image. So I tried to remember from the almost three decades of living in Pakistan to see if I could locate this collective that behaves in this identical manner but I could not place them and that’s when I realized that maybe things have changed in the decade that I have been living outside so every time I visit Pakistan (which is every year, without fail) I try to look for this ‘collective’ that would represent the now almost 210M Pakistan...

It is sad that I have to start by talking about my own experience of being a woman in a male-centric society. Sad, because we should've been able to move beyond this by 2017. But we haven't and it is not just true for a hypocritical and conservative society like Pakistan's but around the world even USA is stuck in an era where the burden of the proof still lies with a woman if she addresses any kind of unwanted advances by her male coworkers, class fellows or even complete strangers! Having breathed, studied and worked with men all of my educational and working life, i know the pressure of living with 'respectability'. Because after all, it is absolutely true, that 'only respectable women get respect'. And you have to, at all times, conform to what all that entails. For a free spirit like me, it has been crushing! But maintain it, i have! That also means that you are working at half the power and ability if you have to keep tabs on not letting slip that clo...

Its been a couple of days since Imran Khan and Reham Khan announced their separation and decision to divorce. Nothing out of the ordinary there, as the decision to marry was also theirs, except maybe the timing of the announcement which coincided with the local bodies elections and may have had an impact but thats something which would be very difficult to gauge. What I do find quite extraordinary and almost bordering on incredulous is the amazing audacity of PTI supporters to present this break up as a result of some sort of principled stand by Mr. Khan. The idea being that Ms. Khan wanted to play a role in party politics and Mr. Khan could not bring himself to allow this so he had to sacrifice his marriage for his principled stand! How utterly outrageous is this! This is not principled stance but rather immaturity and shortsightedness. These two got into this relationship out of probably love and, I would assume, mutual admiration and respect. It was definitely not an 'arranged...

Criminal justice system needs to be revised! I am saying this as a complete novice in the professional side of criminal justice system but living in this society, I am not entirely a layperson.   I believe it is fashioned in a way where it is creating professional criminals rather than stopping crime. Read this report of how two 15 year old boys tried to mug an 85 year old woman and when she resisted, they attacked and killed her. They were sentenced to 6 years in prison for the murder. When they leave the prison, they would have become professional criminals. I believe jails are the universities where people go in to gain advanced degree in crime! Their intention was not to kill the woman, it was to steal from the woman. It is quite clear that they could not have had the same start and privileges like what some of other human beings take for granted. Like a roof over their heads, supporting familial environments, access to education, a support system...

Pain, what pains us? Is the affliction of a malady or our unpreparedness pain? Our undeveloped, limited capacity to face situations? The more we know, the more ready we are and less we suffer: Nature of the malady does not change nor is it that its intensity lessens but we feel it less because we grow an understanding that has a wider encompass than the size of the pain and we are able to absorb it without being consumed by it. Unfortunately, the path to developing this understanding, what is also in 'bee in the bonnet' circles referred to as 'wisdom', is through encounters with a lot of pain. Almost like a rock in a ferocious river is rounded after centuries of erosion. Then, it simply lets the water pass over it without showing resistance and while it may still be eroded but the process slows down and the rock becomes a part of that universe of pain and changes the discourse where it ceases to be about pain.  

I grew up in a home where my mother was a stay at home mum, a homemaker. She has been a constant in our lives as air and water, and equally fundamental to our existence. She has been there to wake us up in the mornings, to look at our faces and ring the alarm that we look pale and making sure we drink milk or any other concoctions she mixed. She has been there when we spoke our first words and also at the receiving end of our tantrums. The fact is she has been there for everything and the picture just can't be complete without my mum and whatever the four of us are today, we are, because she gave of herself lovingly to us. So here is to mums all over the world! Happy belated mothers day!  

28/03/2014 Arrived early in Geneva on the 28th. Tried to figure out how to take a bus to our hotel but couldn't find any information desk or English speaking person to help us. In the end took a taxi. The taxi driver said we could take a bus for 3.00 CHF as opposed to 35CHF that we ended up paying. Reached the hotel and checked in. Wafi wanted yo nap as we had gotten up at 3.30am. I was not very happy with him as I was dying to go out. Eventually left around 1330. Asked front desk for help, also looked it up online. Took bus #1 to Stand. Looked around a bit and by that time we got really hungry. Looked at menus outside cafés and were astonished at prices. I had read this name Plainpalise so told wafi we needed to go there. After going around in circles to find bus 12 or 15 finally got on the right train and reached the place. It had graffiti on walls and looked a bit run down. Happened upon an antique book shop which was closed but looked interesting. Saw a young girl with gold...

I always wonder about the relationship of ageing with the human spirit. Earlier, when I was much younger, I used to look upon ageing as a damaging and destructive phenomena. But I assumed that to be the human condition - universal and inevitable. But, I wonder now! Maybe because I am ageing myself and I do not see that inevitable, holistic, destructive phenomena happening to me. The social conditioning in me of how ageing is 'supposed' to happen as opposed to how it 'is' happening is quite dissimilar. Now, this is not to say that I do not believe that the gait slows down, the joints start creaking, the skin starts sagging and the sight grows dimmer.   But is that all there is to us? The physical self? There is the intellect, the spirit, the emotions and at some level all of these are interconnected and, yes, interconnected even with the physical self but they are also, at the same time, separate. This separation becomes quite apparent at the time of death when the ...

I see many happy homes go through tough emotional times and in these times parents are under so much duress that they cannot see beyond the immediate financial or social needs of the family thus the emotional needs are swept aside. For children, this is particularly hard to understand. They don't understand mid life crises, they don't understand death, they don't understand job redundancies, they don't understand migration and its challenges, or most other causes of distress. All they understand is that their parents either don't have time to spend with them or the parents are not talking to each other or worse are fighting all the time and they assume that it is their fault. Even if the children don't feel it is their fault, it is so wrong to make the only place they can call home a living hell. Whether they are blaming themselves or not, the fact is that they are too weak and lack the knowledge and means to influence the situation in any way. It is up to the...

A little girl goes shopping with her mother and sees a doll in the window of a toy shop. She falls in love with the doll and wants it. She knows her family cannot afford to buy it but this does not stop her from praying for it. She wishes and prays every time she is reminded of the doll. After a week, on her birthday, she opens the package given by her aunt and sees inside the doll she had seen in the window! She does not make a connection and thinks to herself, 'wish I had wished for something else, as seems I would've gotten it anyway'! What is the moral of the story? As believers we believe in the all mighty, all seeing and just! The deepest desires in our hearts, even the inarticulate ones are, in our belief, evident to Him. Our piety and our sins are in His knowledge and nothing escapes Him. This we believe! The child, in her innocence, believed so as well. But when she got what she wanted, the unseeable God seemed a distant reality-almost a non-reality. How coul...

Last year I travelled quite a bit in Pakistan, traversing through urban centres and into the very heart of rural settlements. The thing that struck me the most was the decay or the 'in ruin' state of any structure I saw. Travelling from one destination to another, the landscape, though always amazing, columns upon columns of not yet ripe but laden mango trees in Sindh and Punjab; blind dolphins sun bathing in the river Indus; fields upon fields of lush green or golden wheat shimmering in the sun; yet any shop, house, hospital, Basic Health Unit, police station, flyover or anything that was constructed that I came across was in a state of 'not yet finished' or crumbling. Very rarely did I see anything being constructed, everything I saw was either unfinished but in use, or in use but almost on the verge of falling down.    On the contrary, my observation was completely different in India, especially, Mumbai, there was construction taking place at every corner. Hig...

We live in a world where increasingly, the line between good and bad is becoming thinner and thinner and has almost disappeared. Lies are commonplace. Not only are we forced to lie but are often times expected to lie as truth embarrasses people and for us to move forward amicably it is expected that a 'white' lie would be used. At such a time when you hear of someone's honesty and integrity, it may even sound naive but nevertheless it does come like a breath of fresh air.  Spoke to someone recently who works in academia and has a very respected place in his field. He narrated a story to us which I will narrate to you. He was invited by another university for a conference to present a paper. A dinner was hosted in his honour and he was shown around the university campus to familiarise him with the life around the university, it seemed almost, in a bid to convince him to consider moving. Then, the head of the department invited him to his room and told him clearly that t...

Last June I visited India for the very first time. On my return I wanted to write about my observations but the impressions were so close to be almost jumbled up and I felt I needed some time to reflect on my trip. So, even though I had promised my readers a series of blogs I have not been able to write until now. And I feel that it is better this way. A lot of these writings have a context, my point of reference is Pakistan and my impressions are all a conversation with what is the state of affairs in my own country. It is an attempt to point out where we are going wrong. Some of the recurrent themes about India are, over-powering smells, population over-drive and of course extreme poverty. I wasn't disappointed either and I did see and experience all of these, really its hard not to encounter these and there were other not so flattering sights to boot. Like piles of garbage inside foyers, corridors and hallways of offices; hundreds of stray dogs roa...

There was a whistling in her ears and the wind seemed to be bent upon sweeping her off her feet and carrying her into oblivion before she had a chance to take a good look at the sun crying its crimson tears. What splendid colors the sun shed before it died each day and then it was born again to die another day. Her decision was not a hasty one, she wanted to be sure of that. She wasn't so far gone in her mental capabilities that she could not understand why she was standing there. The thing is, this is where her paths had led her. All her decisions and her life choices and those which had been forced upon her by fate and circumstances had culminated in bringing her to this very spot. She had been walking on this bridge for almost a decade now and on many of those strolls she had seen the sun die. She had seen it die in so many ways and en-wrapped in so many colors that to her it seemed more beautiful than life itself. She already knew the very moment of her death. After all, ...

One sees a lot of hoolaa over celebrities; commentaries on how they look on various websites, tabloids and fashion magazines and even, unfortunately, on your Facebook home page when your contacts comment on how 'ugly' celebrities look without makeup. The fashion and film industry runs on such interest and their trade demands such a fixation on physical appearances. But if we were to start believing that that is how one should normally look then that would truly be sad. Lets face it, faces aren't supposed to shine, as in, glitter and shine. It is achieved by products and by the sweep of a magical wand called Photoshop. I am prompted to write today because I saw this very pretty natural picture of Meera, our very own homegrown Pakistani film actress, known more for her off screen adventures than her onscreen performances, sans the make up, but looking pretty, nonetheless. There were two kinds of comments under her picture, one, bashing her for not looking simply perfect ...

What horrible, inhumane environments we have created and called them work environments. I was waiting to meet someone at an office recently and the receptionist asked me to wait while she got me the person and as she turned she fell flat on her face. There was a room full of atleast seven people sitting on their desks and not one of them got up to help her up or offer a kind word. They all just asked indifferently if she was alright and went about their business. She seemed floored by the incident and managed to get up in her atleast 4.5 inches pencil heel and rushed to the ladies room. She had returned by the time I came out of my meeting and her eyes were puffy from crying. I felt so sorry for her but sorrier for all those people working there as this would be their fate as well if they were to fall....